half A donut

Raise your Donut and Yell!

2008-01-22T12:27:00.000-06:00

Yell, "I have a hole and I am proud of it!" Referring to your Donut of course.

Why you ask?? I had some type of pastry this morning that was beyond delicious, and it had NO HOLE. It was dark cake with chocolate frosting and some type of thick Twinkie-like filling. I think it only had like 70 Bagillion calories, and a hair less fat. I don't eat like this all the time. I had this delectable treat because one of the women in our office is pregnant, and was having cravings...

Ok, last night, I ate Spaghetti, which when evaluated, its extremely good for you because of all the fruit's and veggies in it. "C'mon The Donald, Fruits in your Spaghetti?" Yep, its true... We had sauce - Tomato's are actually Fruits, Peas - Veggie, Noodles are a grain, milk is the dairy, and the butter over the peas was the fat for a deliciously well balanced meal.

Getting back to the Donut...It was soooo gooooood. Tonight, BLT's with Egg and Cheese, so I call it the "Belch".

Dip your donut, take a bite, and enjoy-

The Donald.

Ok, I've kept my donut quiet long enough!

2007-10-05T08:39:00.000-05:00

A woman goes nuts in an airport, gets arrested, dies in custody by her own accord, and her husband goes and hires an attorney. What the hell?

The entire scenario is played out on a daily basis across America. Someone does something wrong, and the victim gets sued. A teenager kills a store clerk, while robbing the store. The police arrive before he gets out of the store, and a fire fight ensues. The teenage robber gets shot. The mother of the teenager (killer, and robber) files a law suit against the police department for killing her son. WTF?? Maybe if the mother spent more time with her son, teaching him how to be man, and the mother learning how to be a parent, and LESS TIME FINDING A SUITABLE LAW FIRM in her off time, the entire situation may never have occurred in the first place.

Its time being a parent means taking responsibility for your actions. Its time for being a husband or a wife, and taking responsibility for your actions. Enough is enough.

Now, this Carol Ann Gotbaum had clearly been drinking - on her way to rehab as stated by a police officer when she vomited during CPR. She was a mean drunk apparently, which is what got her in the situation in the first place. The police took her into custody, shackled her, and she managed to strangle herself by her attempt to either free herself, or commit suicide. So how is it that the police are at fault?

Where was the hubbie while his drunk wife was jet setting her way to rehab? Now all of the sudden he has concern? please. If he gave a shit, he would have accompanied her on her journey, or sent someone along as a chaperon.

Is this a tragedy? Yes. Is it Law Enforcements fault that it happened? No.

The Donald.

Aint No Bugs on my Donut!

2007-06-26T10:06:00.000-05:00

Ain't no bugs on me, Ain't no bugs on me, There may be bugs on some of you mugs, but there Ain't no bugs on me.

Have fun kids.

The Donald

St. Nicholas left me a Donut!

2006-12-06T09:13:00.000-06:00

Last night, my daughter came to me and said, "Dad, St. Nicholas is supposed to come tonight. We have to leave our shoes out for him to fill with Candy." I smiled and said, "Yep, go get your shoe." Secretly, I was thinking "Dammit, I forgot all about this.", and had to cleverly figure out a way to get to the store without them knowing, or if they did figure it out, I had to cover my ass somehow.

My wife had gone to the pharmacy for me earlier in the day. So I grab the bag my medicine came in, and stick it inside my coat. I head out the door to our local pharmacy chain just down the road. After a short $11.00 candy run, I return home, leaving the candy in the car, and making sure to display my "Decoy" medicine bag when I come in the door. Both kids are in and out of the room, and I'm not sure they even know I left. I went to bed about 11:00pm after watching "Titus", and about 2,000 other Hot Rodders, travel from Texas to Greenbay, WI on the Hot Rod Power Tour. All about custom cars going across country. It was neat.

Well, this morning, my youngest daughter was up, asking if St. Nick came. "I don't know." I replied. She heads out to the living room, and sure enough, by the fireplace, were two shoes (one for each of my kids) filled with sweet, yummy goodness. Funny part is, I forgot about the candy in the car last night, and forgot to fill their shoes....Hmmmm. Guess what, when I checked the car for the bag of candy, that gone as well. I asked my wife if she knew anything about it, and she said, "No, I slept great last night. Never got up once.", then a short pause came. She tilted her head to the side, and looked at me as if I had done it. I wispered in her ear that I had forgot all about it. The Spirit lives on.

Thanks St. Nicholas!
Merry Christmas (Yep, I said it - "Christmas").

The Donald

Is the word Donut in the Pledge of Allegiance?

2006-11-28T08:06:00.000-06:00

I found out this morning, after my wife, who is volunteering at my daughters school, got in trouble from my daughters teacher (evil troll), for letting the kids into the school to get them out of the pouring rain, I also found out that my daughters class is the only class that doesn't say the Pledge of Allegiance. OBTW, when she bitched at my wife for letting the kids in, she did it loudly in front of the entire class - that is just down right unprofessional. Again, what does this teach our kids? What a joke.

Ok, now I have a problem.

The Pledge of Allegiance is a promise or oath of allegiance to the United States as represented by its national flag.

The words of the Pledge are: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

I told my wife that I wanted her to ask the teacher, or Principal if there was someone in the class that refused to stated the Pledge to their Country, or if this was the Teachers doing. If you knew the teacher, you would wonder too. She spoke to the Principal about it, and her response was that it was up to the teachers.
I don't care of one person doesn't want to recite this Pledge, I want my child to do so.

Now its my turn to complain.

If one person, or the teacher is preventing this, then get the hell out of the room while its being said by my child. If you have no allegiance to this country, under GOD or not, you have no right to prevent my child from reciting it. This is a free country, with the first ammendment right of Free Speach. I want my child to have the "right" to state their allegiance to this country, and not have any rights taken away from them. I love this country, and I expect my children to have pride for their Country, Flag, and everything this country stands for. If that means saying the word "God" then so be it. As a matter of fact, they should still state the Pledge, and just not speak when they get to the part about "God".

Does it makes sense to refuse the "Rights" of the mass, because one person has the right to refuse to say the word God? I don't think so. Maybe making that one person who hates to pledge their allegiance to this country under God (yes, the way this country was founded), might want to live in another country. I am not saying living in another country is a bad thing. There are several other wonderful countries, and I bet they are proud of their countries too. But to prevent the pledge allegiance to your own country seems almost criminal.
Hell, while I am at it, ALL HOLIDAYS SHOULD BE LEARNED AND CELEBRATED IN SCHOOLS. Why not let our children become well rounded and taught to respect other countries and religions. Its called School for a reason - its a place to learn...I cannot see how depriving our children of the foundations this country was built upon, is a way to teach them respect for their country. A little pride for the great country they live in wouldn't hurt. I think if the teacher or the parents who might be throwing a stink (not sure just yet) lived in an opressed country (Africa, Iraq, etc.) I think they would understand how good they have it.

Maybe, just maybe, if we taught our children to respect this country, each other, and the individual values each person has, rather than the "its my way or no way at all" attitude, we could overcome so many of the problems this country has, and we can stand united as one. I teach my children to be open minded, and respect other values, and cultures. What I see happening is, if "I" don't like it, then no one should. Frankly, that just doesn't work for me.

The Donald
'Under God"

Do Not Comment on my Donut!

2006-11-09T08:50:00.000-06:00

Its funny. I blog every now and again. I am sure no one reads my blog entries, which is ok. I did have one person tell me (yeah, in person) they thought my last blog entry was funny - but I have 0 comments on each. Well, I write these entries to get them out of my head. If I didn't, they would stay there and bounce around like a "superball" in stairwell (if you have never - I recommend it. Make sure to wear protective eyewear, as you run the risk of getting the small rubber ball that is propelling itself at the speed of light, in your eye). Do a "Goggle Search" on protective eyewear. Get it, "Goggle", not "Google"?

The Donald

Do the Major Networks eat Donuts?

2006-10-20T08:06:00.000-05:00

A while back, I wrote about such poor service I was experiencing from Charter Communications for our Cable, Telephone and Internet. We have since dropped the Phone services, and oddly enough, MY BILL IS STILL THE SAME! One would think if you remove one of 3 services, your bill would drop - mine didn't.

Anyway, that's not what I am writing about today. I am wondering if NBC, CBS, ABC, or any of the other Cable Channels being broadcast on my TV know what is happening? Lets first look into how it works. You get TV for free (unless you are paying for cable or Sattellite). Eitherway, TV is still for the most part free. Its free due to the advertising the networks display on their channels, right? Sure, that makes sense. If I were paying for something, as I am for cable, I expect it to work correctly ALL THE TIME, otherwise I expect to be compensated for its failure, and inconvenience to me. Sure, this too makes sense.

So let me ask NBC, CBS, ABC, why they have not gotten all over Charter Communications for their failed services. I mean if I were a client, paying over a $500,000 to have my ad air in Prime Time, I would expect it to air without flaw to reach as many potential customers as possible, however, if that ad is failing due to Cable problems (which happen daily with Charter), then my message isn't reaching its audience, therefore, I should not be paying NBC what they are charging for the ad in the first place, right? I would complain to NBC about the ad not displaying, telling them I am not paying. The network should then go after Charter Communications (which vieiwing my earlier post is an OXYMORON - "Communications"), for their failure to display the ad. Right?

So why the hell is this so hard to see? I know I am not the only person that understands this concept. Hell, if you put an ad in the paper, trying to selll something in the classifieds, however, the paper only ran it in 1/2 of the papers, due to an error, you wouldn't pay full price for that ad, would you? I didn't think so.

So, NBC, CBS, ABC, and any other cable channel, if you are reading this, you might want to look at the companies paid to deliver your broadcasts - they are failing, and you are suffering as a result. Its time for some BIG shoes to kick Charter Communications in the rear end, and get them to improve their services.

The Donald

Are you racing to finish your Donut before me?

2006-10-20T07:54:00.000-05:00

The definition of OXYMORON is:
An oxymoron (plural "oxymora" or "oxymorons") is a short phrase that appears self-contradictory.

I found my self muttering this the word to myself on the way into work this morning as I left the stop light (on Green), but was being raced by a Toyota Prius. I thought to myself, why the hell, would a led footed driver, purchase a hybrid vehicle to save on gas? It makes not sense. Or does it? Maybe the driver (I won't mention what gender) thought since they push the pedal to the floor every single time they start out, it might be in their best interest to purchase such a vehicle to save fuel costs. I am quite positive, the hybird technology doesn't kick in during jack-rabbit starts though. Hmmm.

Your thoughts?
The Donald

Donut Communications

2006-06-14T06:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, we have all seen the ads for Charters "Outstanding" services. Constant ads telling me to have phone, internet, and television, all through one line. This is the end all, be all of my life. How can it get better than this? All my services in one place??? NO flippin way! Once I heard this, I jumped on my old land line phone, called Charter Communications asking them "Where the hell do I sign up for this life-changing experience?"

So we have had this F**King service for a couple years now. on a daily basis I have to call their support center to get help because the superb services I am supposed to be receiving, and paying a boatload of money per month to have, is FAILING, over, and over, and over again.

Why am I writing this now? Well, I want to share with you my experience in the last 3 days. Sunday we experienced a Loss of dial tone on our phone. While I was on the phone with this understanding representative, my call was dropped because the service failed. The representative took it upon himself to set up a service time the following day from 10-12. I called first thing Monday AM to check if they were coming since I had no dial tone that night, how could do it from home? So I call on Monday, talk to a rep, who apparently was sick of their service too, since we got into a pissing match on the phone about all the calls I have placed and why my damn service hasn't been fixed once and for all. She had no answer. She rescheduled my appointment for between 5-7 Monday.

So, Monday evening rolls around, and waiting at home for the rep to come, missing my daughters softball game, and the fu*ker never shows up. I gave them until 9:00pm. Ok, now I am beyond pissed. I grab the phone to call charter to find out why the ass never came, and guess what, NO F**KING dial tone again. I grab my cell phone which gets reception at my house only on rainy days, that begin with the letter T. I call charter and I hear "Due to unexpectedly high call volumes, your wait time is approximately 15 minutes." Ok, my blood vessels are swelling at this point. I am waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and my cell cuts out. I grab my regular phone, and hey, whadya know, I have a dial tone. I dial 1-800-581-0081 and go through the process AGAIN. This time waiting about 12 minutes before the call was dropped yet again.

So I grab my cell, and prepare to do the lotus position perched high atop my gas grille in order to get a signal to last long enough to chew some ass with Charter. I finally get through to someone. By this time, I have waited in queues in excess of an hour, with the calls all being dropped before this. The rep I spoke to wasn't willing to cut me a check for the time its cost me to sit and wait, and wait, and wait, day after Fu*kin day to talk to someone, only to hear we will send someone out to look at the problem.

They always to this, send someone out to look at the problem. However, the problem isn't a problem until the rep has driven out of our driveway, then the little bastard hits the "Distort Signal Button" then enters my address. So the little ass comes out last night, runs some tests, checks the logs of my calls, and proceeds to tell me that it was a network outage, and the guy up the street was experiencing the same thing at the same time. Of course, I couldn't resist asking if my neighbor was as pissed off as I was? Ok, so the rep leaves, and the service actually worked last night.

This morning, I get up at 4:30am. Hit the button for the TV and the button for the Cable box. Guess what? F**Ked up service AGAIN. So I am waiting to see if its a morning glitch and if it will work itself out, but after 45 minutes, 5 cigarettes, and 1 cup of coffee, I grab my phone to call. Guess what? NO F**KIN DIAL TONE AGAIN! I am sick of calling, and I wait. The service finally rectifies itself long enough for me to call. I get through to some little skinny, ass-faced, pimple ridden, kid with a big nose and huge ears (I don't know this for sure, but the way he sounded, it has to be true). I tell him what's going on, and he asked if its working now. I say yes. He said well, they were doing maintenance last night, so that's probably it, to which I then asked if I was going to get a discount for the time I was NOT GETTING SERVICE. His response was, "well, if the outage doesn't last all day, then I can't issue a discount." 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Ok, I am reasonably calm for the moment. Those of you that know me, can only imagine how close I was to going Postal at that point. I told him that I guess I would only be sending in a portion of my payment then since I am only getting a portion of my services, and his response was "Sir, if you do that, I suspect they will eventually disconnect your service." OK, WHAT THE FU*K WOULD BE DIFFERENT YOU ASS!, other than the fact that I am no longer paying for it. I asked him if he expected to keep customers with that type of response. He said "its our corporate policy not to issue refunds unless the outage is longer than a day." I then asked if the executives in their company ever went to school, since I am no rocket scientist, but I can assure you that if I ran a business that way, I would lose all my customers in a heartbeat.

Charter doesn't know this yet, but they will soon find out. I am dropping the crappy phone service as of Monday, when Verizon is coming to install their services. I am looking at a Dish instead of getting NO SERVICES from the monopoly they call Charter.

CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS NEW MOTTO:
"ONE CUSTOMER AT A TIME" Then the fine print says "Screwing" prior to the bold text.

Please, if you have Charter Services, share your experiences here. If you are from Charter Communications and you are reading this, take warning of my experiences. This is one of several folks you have screwed. Can you say Better Business Bureau???? Have a nice day...

The Donald

Big Business can Kiss My Donut! Part Deux.

2006-06-07T08:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, for those of you who are not Rocket scientists, I was the one who had my utilities disconnected, if you hadn't put that together thus far.

So, last night, (I made sure the kids stayed at a friends house overnight, so as not to "infect" them with my constant barrage of obscenities that lasted past midnight fueled by several cocktails), I was sitting on my screened in porch playing cribbage with my wife. Having no power makes the house a bit dark. At any rate, she is kicking my ass in cribbage when we hear the Siren go off, usually indicating there is a tornado. "What the F**K is that for?" I ask her. We both sit there in disbelief. Ok, at this point, I began creating NEW swear words never heard before...

The fact that I am without power, while some Executive F**Kface from MG&E is sitting in the leather recliner, watching their 60 inch plasma TV following the coverage from the local TV station regarding the TORNADOS that are coming through the area, and I am sitting on my porch, with a candle lit, for extra light, not knowing we are even supposed to have severe weather BECAUSE I HAVE NO POWER TO TURN ON A RADIO, TV, OR????

Now, to make matters worse, the woman where my kids are staying, stated they had their utilities disconnected due to lack of payment, HOWEVER, she paid MG&E$200, and MG&E offered to set up a payment plan for the remaining balance, which was higher than our bill all together. I have to ask at this point, how does MG&E determine who gets a payment plan, and who doesn't? I think I may have been discriminated against. Hmmmmm.

The Donald

Big Business can Kiss My Donut!

2006-06-06T13:33:00.000-05:00

What chemically dependent Executive of big business decided when my credit card payment was late (Paid, but late), that my interest rate should go up to 28%?? Are these executives on Crack? Did I miss this topic in college? What the F**K are they thinking? Is that really how you treat your customers? This is a classic example of the Man sticking it to the little people.

There is a company here, that provides our utilities (Gas and Electric). First, its the only company that provides these services in town. Can you say Monopoly? I have a very dear friend who recently had their service disconnected due to lack of payment, for reasons beyond their control. When my friend offered to pay $1,000 of the $1200 bill, they said sure, come in and you can pay at the counter. My friend then asked how long it takes to get the service restarted, figuring it would be an hour or so. She told my friend that "Our company policy is to wait until the next day." OK, who in the F**K came up with this?? The monopoly got a ton of cash, for an already over-priced service, and yet the only way to get the service started that same day is if you have a life support machine, but your doctor has to fax forms to them for proof, while the person on life support just took their last breath. Once again, the Man sticking it to the little people.

Why can't they start the service the same day? Who the F**K came up with this policy? AND NOW THAT I AM REALLY PISSED OFF, Why do I keep seeing this utility company sponsoring events around town? Do they have that much money they can afford to sponsor events all over the place? I would think they would be able to lower their prices if they are that fluid.

EEEEEEEH, I think I just broke a blood vessel in my temple...Ow.

I am tired of Big Business sticking it to the little people. Its funny because we have NO ALTERNATIVE but to take their shit, and deal with it. I think the governent should spend less time on issues like Gay Marriage, I mean , who really gives a crap if two women, or two men want to get married? The question is, do they love each other? Does the gay population really impact your heterosexual life? Hell No! Is it worth our Government spending our tax dollars debating this? No.

Its funny, they will put one man in prison for extorting money from a company, but you don't see Company Executives going to prison for Extorting its customers. (Discover Card, Citi Bank, MG&E, just to name a few).

Oh, and to all of the Big Business' that have corn-holed me in the last year, you can all kiss my ass.

The Donald

Is my Donut legal in this country?

2006-05-01T16:48:00.000-05:00

As I sit and watch the protests of legal and illegal immigrants in this country on my TV, I wonder why they are even protesting? It makes no sense to me that if someone wants to work in this country, and live here, why don't they just go through the process and become legal? Am I missing something?

As our fore fathers did when they came to this country, they learned the language, they learned the laws, and "melted" into the melting pot we call America today. If you don't like it here, or don't want to be a citizen, or abide by our laws, then move out of the USA.

The word Illegal Immigrant means just that, "Illegal". According to Dictionary.com, the word Illegal is defined as;
-Prohibited by law.
-Prohibited by official rules: an illegal pass in football.
-Unacceptable to or not performable by a computer: an illegal operation. n.
-An illegal immigrant.
So if being in this country without the proper registration/citizenship, then you are Illegal, or Against the Law and therefore should be jailed. So why are we allowing these protests with people who are openly violating the law?

Your thoughts?

The Donald

Oil Oooozing from my Donut.

2006-04-25T07:28:00.000-05:00

I am tired of big business sticking it to the little people. It happens all to often as it is, but now with the oil companies, who don't really need the extra profits, are having a hay day charging the snot out of U.S. Citizens.

I issue this challenge; I challenge one oil company executive to live for 6 months on MY SALARY. I expect you to live in a house like mine, drive my vehicle, etc. I expect you to walk a mile in my shoes, so to speak. I can guarantee that the oil exec would have a rude awakening of how REAL life is, and not some fantasy as they are living now. On our average, or below average salaries, I would like to see how the executive reacts when he/she has to pay $60 for a tank of gas. Ok, so they will inevitably justify that since its their business and they will blow it off. However, when they have to figure out how they are going to pay for thier groceries, rent or house payments, insurance, gas and electric, any credit cards, etc. living on OUR salaries, not theirs, they will find how hard it really is, and maybe, just maybe, we would see that exec take a step back and re-think the butt-kicking they are giving us right now.

So if you are a media, or TV Executive reading this, it might be just the Reality TV program we are looking for. Oil Executives living in the real world. I would like to see this on TV, and I am sure its ratings would be quite high. I think taking the wind from their sails on national TV would be humbling.

Go President Bush! Investigate these companies and reveal the injustices that we all know are occurring. Lets leave the politics our of this, and approach this huge problem from the average citizens perspective. Please keep in mind, the average person in the United States makes approximately $37,000 per year. Now if you are filling your gas tank up maybe once a week, and that costs you approximately $60 with each fill up, you are spending approximately $3,000+ per year on fuel alone. Not including oil changes, etc.

That is my challenge. If you are an oil executive, call me, lets talk.

Sell your Donut AS-IS.

2006-03-21T08:22:00.000-06:00

Yeah, you heard it right, a few years back, we sold our house. It was about 25 years old, so as you might imagine, Sh*t happens with older houses. We purchased a home warranty for the people that bought the house as part of the sale. At any rate, the F**kers that bought it sued us for a variety of things (Negligence, Gross Negligence, False Advertising, etc.). They found a small leak in the roof, that we didn't know about. They sued us for the Roof claiming that because we stated "New roof" it should have been a new roof done by professionals, not me and my brother in-law. Ok, as screwed up as that sounds, here is the kicker. At the closing, the people that bought our house, had the option to purchase additional coverage for the roof (part of the home warranty we already purchased for them), but they turned the additional coverage down.

Secondly, they sued us for putting screened in porch over the deck claiming it was not up to code, and it needed to be torn down and replaced... Blah, blah, blah. Torn down, ...replaced? Naaa.

That little shit storm of a law suite cost us over $22,000 dollars in the end ($5,000 to the F**kers, and the rest in attorney fee's) - money we didn't have.

You might be asking yourself, didn't they have the house inspected? Yep, then in the depositions during the suite, the woman (fat little Oompa-Loompa) stated that because we didn't know about an electrical problem (They found, when pushing on a wall...need I say more...) that "Ignorance is not an excuse." - well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

NOW, 4 years later, the F**kers are selling the house for $90,000 more than they paid for it (which was below our asking price in the first place), and never did anything to the roof, or the screened in porch! They put some tile in, new countertops, and some carpeting - that's all.

I am sick and Fricken' tired of people in this world. Everyone is out to sue someone else for their own misfortunes. Our attorney stated that out of the some 2000+ attorney's in Madison, he knew of about 3 that would actually take their case, and guess what, they happened to find one of the three. Well, I guess in a world where everyone is sue-happy (no, not SO HAPPY, rather Sue Happy), I have a real bad taste in my mouth for the legal process, and people's integrity in general.

So, as I close on this post, I urge you to NEVER, EVER, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, SELL ANYTHING, WITHOUT ATTACHING THE WORDS, "SOLD AS-IS" IN THE SALES CONTRACT.

The Donald

Did you just grab my Donut and say Tag?

2006-03-14T07:44:00.000-06:00

Tag! - 6 things that are f**ked up about me:

Naaaa, I'm not going there. You just want me to mention that I have a mild case of OCD, my head was crushed when I was born, I roll soda bottle wrappers between my fingers, I have a blog, I have problems with my memory, and I was best suited to be a civil engineer but thought it meant being janitor - BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!! I don't want to reveal such things about myself.

I mean, really, who cares if I can talk to animals, or have special super-hero powers? Really, who cares?

I have never been a bully, but if you tag me, or tag me again, I will chase you, relentlessly, and tag you back with such force that I will knock you on your ass, leave you with your knee scraped, crying for your mother. So think twice. Twice.

The Donald

Same Donut, higher prices.

2006-03-13T08:26:00.000-06:00

Ok, we all know the general price of donuts, and they fluctuate based on location, type, quantity, etc. But if you go to a donut store, you can expect to see some of your favorites, as well as possibly a new type or two, right? One thing remains consistent. A glazed donut is still a glazed donut, and a Strawberry Jelly Filled, is still a Strawberry Jelly Filled.

This weekend, I was blown away. I am amazed at the price of AKC dogs - pure breds. When I was a kid, you got Mutts for free, and the rich people all had pure-breds. If you were lucky enough, you got dog with both parents being pure-breds, but from two different types of dog, e.g. a purebred mutt. They were usually, very inexpensive. Maybe $50 bucks to cover shots, etc.

Over the weekend, we stopped at a Pet store jut to kill some time. We looked at these cute little dog/poop machines. The first one was a Mastiff (grows to be approximately 170 - 190 pounds!) - HOLY 50 LB BAG OF DOGFOOD A WEEK! Cute, yes. She was approximately $1500. I politely asked the attendant to put the dog back because we wanted to see some other ones as well. I didn't have the heart to tell her to take her Psychosis medicine, and get a grasp on reality.

So the next dog she brings out is something called a LabPae. WTF? Is it really a Lab, Sharpe Mix? Sure enough. Had the Sharpe head, Lab body and Color. Cute as hell. So right away, I'm thinking, this little tank must be damn near free since its a breeder screw-up. The girl told me she cost $599. I looked at her quite puzzled at this point. She detected my confusion and blurted out, "Oh, but Sir, she has a microchip, and a warranty." Again, WTF? A warranty? I was thoroughly puzzled at this point.

So I looked through the remaining dogs they had...Laberdoodles, Chihuahua mixes, and list of mixes went on and on. It was amazing. People are breeding animals with other animals, and no one is sure of the outcome, since this type of breeding hasn't ever been done before. Who knows, these could end up being some extremely dysfunctional animals, mentally and physically, over time. Not to mention how much they cost. They even had a parrot that barked! I sat there with the "HOLY SH*T" look on my face for almost 10 minutes.

Has the breeding community lost their mind? When did it become ok to mix dog breeds, and think you can charge Pedigree prices for them? Have I been in some lost pet chasm lately where CNN talked about this, and I just missed it? Did Ukanuba give their Ok? I didn't see anything on Leno about it either. So what the hell is going on? Talk to me.

- The Donald -

Is that fungus on my Donut?

2006-03-10T08:32:00.000-06:00

Why do people come to work sick?

I cannot stand it when my co-workers come to work sneezing, coughing, etc. all over my donuts instead of taking the sick time their job has given them as a benefit! Sure, they can use their sick time for retirement to keep their benefits going once retired, however, if they don't take care of themselves, they aren't going to see retirement anyway. Hell, none of us will, if they keep coming in sick.

The part that really Chaps My A*S is the rest of us get the lovely benefit of receiving their viral dispersions! While I appreciate their dedication to the job, I also know that the place we work at WILL NOT HAVE TO CLOSE THE DOORS if you miss a day or two.

Personally, I don't need any help building up a resistance to any infection. Nor do I need someone to blatantly give me any virus to help me thwart off any future attack of said virus. DO NOT SNEEZE NEAR ME, DO NOT COUGH NEAR ME, and above all...DO NOT FART NEAR ME. I'm good, I have it under control all on my own. I don't need your help!

So, if you are sick, and you work where I do, purchase some friggin' nasal tissues, some cough medicine, and keep your viral, moldy, fungal, sneezing, coughing, achey, fever, stuffy-head cuz you neat rest rear-end at home!

The Donald

Is my Donut in your way?

2006-03-08T10:31:00.000-06:00

That's right! I asked you a question, "Is my donut in your way?". If so, then I would say "excuse me". However, one of my pet peeves is when someone bumps into you, and never says the two easiest, and non-confrontational words...Excuse me.

This morning, we ventured off to our favorite coffee shop to partake in the caffeinated Latte's brewed to perfection, and topped with Low Calorie whipped cream (Pun intended). Anyway, not only did I have some impatient woman who was clearly menopausal, cut in front of me in line. I mean, she was worse than the "Bull" I actually saw in the china shop! On top of it all, I wasn't 'lolly gagging' around either, she just clearly bulled her way in front of me to get what she wants. yeah, that ticked me off. She deserved a swift smack in the back of her head, followed by the illustrious words "What the F**k are you doing?", but no, I kept my mouth shut and waited patiently for my turn, as if to show her how its done. I don't think it worked though.

However, the point of this blog relates not only to the woman with the hormone issue, but the guy who bumped into me while I was waiting for my perfectly brewed Latte to arrive at the counter for my pick-up. I looked right at him after he bumped into me, and nothing, not even a cordial "oops" or the face someone makes when they use their body language to say "Sorry, didn't mean to do that". Nothing at all.

Now, Its like my old football coach used to say, "If you are going to be off-sides (crossing the line of scrimmage before the ball is snapped) then knock somebody on their ass!" I am about ready to heed his great words. Now, had I knocked that raging hormonal Bit*h on her ass this morning, would I have been justified? How about the guy that bumped into me? Could I call that self defense? Better yet, after they file a lawsuit against me for assault, could I use the "Off-Sides defense" in court.

The next time you bump into someone, take the time to say "Excuse me", trust me, it won't hurt.

Jelly Filled

2006-03-03T13:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, in a meeting, we were discussing our managements poor decision to cut the donuts in 1/2, leaving us all in a frantic state of denial, wondering how they could actually do that to us.

Anyway, one of my co-workers stated that it would have been a real mess had the donuts they cut in 1/2 been Jelly Filled. I couldn't agree more. Then this same person indicated that one would have to take their finger and physically scoop some of the Jelly out of one 1/2 to put on the other since it would be unlikely that there would be equal amounts of Jelly on each 1/2 after the initial cut was made. Then of course, that led to the fact that we didn't know what that manager was doing that morning, and how dirty their hands may have actually been when HE PHYSICALLY HAD TO TOUCH EACH DONUT TO MAKE THE CUT IN THE FIRST PLACE! Friggin Discusting!

That brings me to point number two today. This is for men only. When you use the restroom, there IS a protocol for the process. Do Not Stray from this, or it sets off a series of catastrophic events from the far reaches of our galaxy, all the way down to the simple cutting of a donut.

1) Enter the restroom.
2) Unzip, urinate, zip-up.
3) WASH YOUR HANDS.
4) Obtain paper towel to dry hands.
5) Exit rest room.
IN THIS ORDER!!

I have seen men walk into the rest room, urinate, get paper towels, THEN wash their hands, then exit. Now, WHAT IF, and this is just a What If...What if the manager that cut our donuts in 1/2 the other day, was one of those people that didn't follow proper restroom protocol, or maybe they are a scratcher of private area's, or possibly, they blew their nose/sneezed, or wiped their ass without washing properly, THEN cut the donuts we all indulged ourselves on....

Erp...I just threw up in my mouth.

We have a cafeteria that is run by the blind (Blind owners - I know, brilliant concept, put the blind around hot ovens, deep fryers, and several knives). Anyway, I have seen them do this on more than one occassion. They fill the automatic coin return so when you get change it will automatically dispense the change without the non-blind help having to do 3rd grade math. Directly after touching all of the exceptionally clean money, I have seen her take the toast from the toaster, hold it in her left hand, butter with the right hand, and use the thumb on her left hand to feel the toast to see where she buttered and what she had missed....

Erp....I did it again....I think you get the point.
The Donald

Day Old Donuts

2006-03-02T07:52:00.000-06:00

Well, its the day after playing HalfADonut here at work (instructions for the board game coming soon), and I need caffeine!

Today's issue relates to the job market. Its funny to me that with 15 years experience doing something, that a company still wants to know my highest education level. I would think with my experience, I would be able to put down Master's Degree, right? I would have a Master's degree in Adult Learning, e-Learning, CBT, WBT, etc. if that counted. It seems as though these companies only want to see a degree and could care less about your actual abilities and performance on the job, and past experience. So what are employers really looking for? Do you have any clues?

I have revised my resume, based on "industry resume experts" (who all want me to purchase their services to put my resume in front of people who do the hiring, for a nominal fee of $1,800 - ??). So am I to believe that I need to pay almost $2,000 just to get my resume in front of people that do the hiring with NO guarantee that I will obtain a new job? Am I the only person not smoking crack these days?

Let me bring this back around one more time. Yesterday (half a donut day) we were reminded what our management really thinks of its staff. Yes, even if we have been here for almost 15 years, its time for all of us to consider other opportunities. Should we be paying almost $2,000 for someone to assist us - I don't think so, however, I have submitted my resume several times, only to find out they selected someone else for the position. Why I wonder. I had one company actually tell me that I was VERY qualified, and my experience was quite impressive, but...They selected someone else. WHO?? I asked specifically if there was something wrong with my resume, qualifications, etc., and their response was "No, nothing wrong at all." Here is another odd scenario. A local company was looking for someone with my skill set. I submitted my qualifications via email, and my email was deleted without being read (read receipt). Of course, I had to call them and ask why. "Oh, sir, we didn't do that...." Blah, blah, blah...Whatever...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the people I work with. They are very smart, and a pleasure to be around socially as well. I am not looking for a different job to get away from them, however, our work environment is such that I would be a fool not to be looking at this time. I could have had several positions right here in town, but I am looking for jobs in FL, GA, or even TN. I want to wake up in the AM and sip my coffee in my shorts and flip flops, looking at the palm tree's. I don't want to sip my coffee, bundled up because its 10 degree's outside and a 70% chance of snow...Again.

Anyway, I think I have said enough.
Have a donut hole of a day!

halfAdonut Day!

2006-03-01T10:06:00.000-06:00

Today is 1/2 a donut day here at work. Why 1/2 a donut you ask? One of our senior managers is having a birthday. So the mid-level managers bought donuts for everyone. While wiping the drool from my chin, I went to obtain my scrumptious jelly filled, sugar covered pastry, I noticed all of the donuts in the box were cut in 1/2. "WTF?" I thought. Not only was my donut sticky, because they usually are, but it was also tacky. Tacky in that friggin management couldn't pop for a full donut for everyone!